Dilation

Shortly after my failed surgery in 2000, my surgeon encouraged me to begin vaginal dilation therapy since he said I should never try to have surgery again. I was 14, yet to have a boyfriend, sex nowhere on the radar, and was terrified after trying to dilate for the first time. It was painful, uncomfortable and truthfully…embarrassing.  So I hid the dilators in the closet and went on with my life.

(WARNING- this post is particularly descriptive and adult in content)

Path to Finding My beloved

I was 17, Lee was 19. It was December 2002.
It was Love at first chat.
Soul mates at first glance.

Surgery 2000

After drinking the horrendous "Fleets Phospho-Soda" bowel prep liquid, which I can only assume is similar to stomach bile mixed with lighter fluid, and not eating for over 24 hours, I dressed in my favorite pajamas, blue clouds and rainbows, my mom had braided my hair and we drove the 45 minutes to Georgetown Hospital. The last thing I remember about that day was getting out of the car in the parking lot and walking toward the hospital.

We were told during my pre-op visit with the surgeon a few days prior that the "exploratory laparoscopic pelvic surgery" would be out-patient, and I would wake up with a piece of tape over my belly button and we could go to McDonald's on the way home....Boy we were wrong.

Discovery & Diagnoses

After countless Emergency Room visits for over 2 years for "gas cramps", my abnormality was finally discovered.  It was spring break my freshman year of highscool, and during an extremely painful, yet routine for me, ER visit. This time the pain was so bad I was hyperventilating, vomiting, and was running a fever.

A kind ER Doctor asked my mother and I if she could do a gynecological pelvic exam since I was 14 and had not started menstruating yet. She took a catheter tube and inserted it in the hole she thought was my vagina, and after crying from the pain...urine came out....she was definitely NOT in my vagina. And after looking closer, she discovered that I do not have a vaginal opening at all, not even an indentation. Just skin between my urethra and my rectum. 

I am a wombless wife...

I am a 25 year old wombless wife. 

After struggling with consistent abdominal pain for over 10 years fighting to keep my womb, I am now a wombless wife.

After dying and being resusitated twice on an operating table I am now a wombless wife.

After being in a coma for over 14 days at the age of 13, and spending countless days in the hospital and various doctor's office, I am now a wombless wife.

After two failed corrective surgeries and a 6 hour hysterectomy, I am now a wombless wife.

I am a wombless wife.


I have a supportive husband, that I have been married to for 3 years, together for 8 years, and I am a wombless wife.

I have a supportive family, including an older sister willing to be my gestational surrogate, I am still a wombless wife.

I am a ready and willing mother...but I am a wombless wife.