Thursday, January 6, 2011

Path to Finding My beloved

I was 17, Lee was 19. It was December 2002.
It was Love at first chat.
Soul mates at first glance.
It was a bit of a windy path to find my beloved....

I had my first serious relationship during the summer of 2002 (between 11th & 12th grade).  I had just been promoted to Commanding Officer of my High School NJROTC Program (highest position & rank possible- leading over 150 cadets/students), and was applying for Naval college Scholarships to join the Navy Nurse Corps. My life was great!  

He had just graduated from high school and was waiting to leave for Air Force boot camp in the fall. It was a summer of many first for me. We spent the summer getting high, drinking, and fooling around in his teeny-tiny sports car. We had attempted to have sex a few times, the first time was on a bunk bed in the basement of a friend of ours after Prom (how cliche right?). And even though I knew I did not have a vaginal opening, I did not tell him that, naively thinking he wouldn’t notice (crazy I know). And well…. he didn’t notice, at least he never told me he did.  He just sort of poked in the general area for a few minutes and it worked I guess ;-) We were usually drunk or high or both, so maybe he was too out of it to notice or who knows what he was thinking but somehow we managed.  When he left for Air Force boot camp at the end of the summer we mutually decided to end the relationship.

 Once school started I started hanging out with a really fun and hilarious guy that was two years younger than me, social suicide in high school, but I liked him. He asked me to Homecoming and we unceremoniously began a relationship. However it was severely platonic. I literally grabbed his face several times and jammed my tongue in his mouth forcing him to kiss me. He told me that he was a germa-phob and didn’t like kissing, I should have known something was up, but I assumed it was just because he was much younger - found out later…he’s gay! That explains soo much. 

It was very difficult for me to stay with him because I had just gotten out of my first relationship that was pretty much sex/kissing driven and had just really started figuring it all out. But since the beginning of my senior year was being really tough on me and I liked having a friend to talk to. I didn’t really have any other prospects and I really did like hanging out with him, as a friend, so I stayed with him for several months.

It was during this time (September-November 2002) that my life really started to take a turn for the worse. I was going to school around 6:00am to work on NJROTC projects, attending 4 regular classes, then going to an internship as a Certified Nursing Assistant at a local Nursing Home for 3 periods which overlapped my lunch hour,  trying to get a head start on my nursing career. Then i took a bus to my job at pet store/ dog kennel where I worked 30 hours a week at minimum wage.  A few days a week I would have to walk back to school for NJROTC Color Guard practice late at night, then finally head home and try to do homework.  I was really burned out and started thinking about suicide on a regular basis. I felt no one understood what I was going through and was so stressed and unhappy it seemed the only way out. It all come on very suddenly, in August I was partying and having a great time, once school started it all become too real and stressful and in November I realized I needed to change some things.
I spoke with my parents and guidance counselor, and I decided to drop out of NJROTC, and take a half day school schedule since I was ahead in credits I was able to take just 2 classes, continue the CNA internship and then head to work right after lunch. Dropping out of NJROTC was a life changing decision and everyone was shocked, the Navy had always been my future. Dropping out would ensure that I would not get a scholarship and any military future would be scarred. All of my friends and boyfriend were in NJROTC, and they felt betrayed by my decision, so in the end was left with no friends at all. Looking back I am not sure I made the right decision, but I am glad that it led me to my wonderful husband now. If I didn't meet him when I did I am sure things would have just gotten worse.
In early December 2002 Lee messaged me through account I had created for fun earlier in the summer. We began chatting online, and after about 2 weeks he finally persuaded me to call him and we spoke on the phone for hours. After a week of phone conversations we set up our first meeting.  He met me at my job (dog kennel) on December 23, 2002. The second he got out of his car I gave him a huge hug, and he hung out for a few hours, talking with me at the front counter while I checked-in dogs to the boarding kennel, helped people play with puppies and buy dog toys and food. 

I’m sure I smelled like poop and wet dog, but he never complained.  When it was finally time for him to leave I hugged him again and moved in for a quick kiss, he was shocked, but it just felt right. My life started to turn around.
Our first date was on December 26, 2002, he picked me up from work and we went to see “Catch Me if You Can” with Leonardo DiCaprio. When he drove me home we made out for hours in his car and made plans to meet up the next day. When he picked me up the next day we drove to the mall to go shopping for a new years eve outfit.  

In the car ride with no warning, I blurted out:
“I have a condition called MRKH, I don’t have a vagina….. which means...... I can’t have regular sex.” and he didn’t flinch.  I knew he was a keeper! J He asked a few questions which I answered truthfully and that was that. That night in his car we made out, and explored each others bodies with no stress about having sex (I'll describe the beginning of our sex life in another post).
On New Year’s Eve we went to dinner, then to his parent’s house to wish his younger brother a happy birthday. I met his parents, and then we went to my parent’s house to celebrate midnight. Shortly after midnight we said “I Love You” to each other…less than 1 week after meeting.

Fast forward--- we moved in together May 2004, engaged July 2006, Married June 2007. And we just celebrated 8 years together December 2010. We are now planning on expanding our family during 2011/2012 with the help of my wonderful sister as our gestational surrogate.

True love is real.
Love at first sight (or chat) is possible.
Soul mates exist.

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